Meet Bramble.
“I run the shop. I judge your basket. I’m always right about the dice.”
Nobody quite remembers when Bramble showed up — one day the shop just had a goblin in it, sat on the till, opinions loaded and ready to fire. He claims to be several centuries old. Nobody’s checked his ID.
What we do know: Bramble has excellent taste in gothic decor, an unshakeable love of dice that glow in the dark, and zero patience for anything corporate, beige, or boring. He curates every corner of Planet Goblin personally — which mostly means judging things loudly until they’re good enough to sell.
He is, by his own admission, “delightfully unbothered” by customer service norms. He is, by our admission, the reason this shop has any personality at all.
Weird is a feature
If it doesn’t have a bit of edge to it, Bramble doesn’t stock it. Simple as that.
No corporate nonsense
No jargon, no fake urgency, no “valued customer” emails. Just good stuff, honestly described.
Quality over quantity
Bramble would rather stock 12 things he loves than 200 things he’s indifferent to.
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